midday rants from Vanessa

Sorry to be too lazy to set up my own username peeps.

and Chels, I'm glad you liked my bizarre gift. It just spoke to me-- literally JUMPED OUT at me saying "I AM PINK, LET ME LIVE WITH CHELSI!" I know you aren't kidding about the gloves and bath time either, you little slattern. Dane called a couple of times but I think he has finally given up. I didn't feel the uh...spark there. He was nice, but I can def. see the "weird as hell" factor, bless his heart. You know what though, I had the most wonderful time at your reception. It was gorgeous and so well done and so YOU. Everyone thought Wilson was my hot, elusive, Lex Lutherish date. I totally played along. Afterward I had the strangest evening too. Wilson took me to a dance-a-thon where I watched a giant man wearing a pink cockatoo getup prance around a stage whilst chasing (this is me chasing) three Italian men around the club as they were my charges for the evening thanks to a random phone call from a Sri Lankan friend in Santa Cruz asking me to show them around Salt Lake. These rigazzi Italiani were passing through SLC on their way across the country and I was to show them a decent time in Salt Lake (as they were only there for one night and half a day). It's ironic that the first place we took them to was a gay nightclub in a city that is notoriously conservative and often thought of as...entirely lacking in large glittering men dressed as pink cockatoos. They were shocked. Wilson has hilarious friends, WHOM I met. that's WHOM, you bastards, WHOM.

Ok, THEN the following weekend I went to Ms. Lisa Ferrara's (the now, Mrs. Robinson) wedding which was just as amazing and just as reflective of her personality and cunning taste. I have a tendency to meet men at weddings, and I am considering a career in crashing weddings just to get a move on in the romance department. (I blame the isolation of Logan, currently). Anyway, at Lisa's fine reception I met this guy by the name of John. I won't say more, because I fear posting incriminating evidence of my infatuation on the internet, but I swear he worked some voodoo spell on me. I could think of little else after that night, and I am trying to reason with myself just to stop plotting a way to see him again. The thing is, this is my "last" weekend in Logan, he of course lives in SLC and is not partial to driving an hour and a half to cow country (not even to visit an amusing woman such as myself) so, arranging another interlude with this person is swiftly approaching the realm of impossible. WTHIGO, as good Shae would say, and I just had to vent all that. When Lisa introduced him, she told me he was Apolo Ohno's cousin (the speedskater) which of course, I gullibly embraced, because by another strange coincidence I happen to have met Apolo on several occasions as he is friends with my speedskater sister. STRANGENESS is in the air. I tried to find my horoscope to see if planet Cupidonicus was flying through the Virgoan house of Lunar Trapezoidal Glyphitronius that evening in hopes of finding some reason why I had to meet someone interesting yet shrouded in inconvenience. It's a damn shame, really.
Oh well. I'm going to NY next weekend to find a dirty little cubby (which I shall call home) if I am so lucky. I can't believe how cute VeryLynn is pregnant! Keep getting married everyone, so I can meet frustrating men.

Love you all,

vanessa