Dreams, Reality, and Motherhood

Wouldn't it be nice if we could travel the world as often as we'd like? Ah, how I used to yearn to live in Europe, eating at a little, tucked-away cafe, just being on my own. Perhaps I would get a dog, and maybe I would have met some charming schmo over a cup of hot cocoa (since I don't drink coffee). Or, how much I wanted to go nanny in New York and teach English in China!

Ah, the dreams of a true dreamer! (Having my feet on the ground is something I learned from the more pessimistic people in my life, and that didn't come until after high school.)

Well, life goes on, that's for sure. And we don't always achieve all of our dreams. But reality isn't that bad. In many ways it's better, more satisfying. True love only exists in reality anyway, because it involves much work and sacrifice-- things few people ever wish for in their fantasies. Besides, I still hope to travel the romantic villages of distant lands. I may not do it alone, or, if I do go alone, I'd probably wish my loved ones were there sharing the experience.

Now I am a mother, and while I refuse to live my dreams through my daughter, she will have many dreams of her own that I hope to help her achieve. Like the most beautiful wedding dress we can afford. Motherhood is better than I thought, but I'm in the easy stage. She sleeps most of the time. I do not look into her eyes to see myself (although I do see my father-- she has his eyes), but rather I see her as Liesl. She will never be like me, but she will 'learn much more than I'll ever know.'

So ode to dreams and reality and love! May they be combined into one for all of you. I myself am living my dreams, even though they are not the girlish dreams I once used to have. But that's okay. I like it this way.

And Amelia, if I had an extra $600, I would gladly loan it. But, as it is, we need to start saving for a wedding dress.

xo jerilynn xo