Rent-a-Baby and other Rants

Hi Everyone. I know it's been a long while since I've posted, but I haven't had much to say besides this little whine, "I'm sick again! I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired..." *me bursting into tears* And I was quite sure nobody wanted to hear that over and over again. Well, brace yourself, this is gonna be a bitchy post. Nothing really interesting has been happening. I am, as I'm sure we all are, trying desperately to find my place in society as a working adult and find a fulfilling career that gives me purpose in that aspect of my life. I don't mean to sound so melodramatic. It's only that my health has not allowed me a normal job, and while I'm grateful to Shae that she pays me to work from home and my work load is very minimal, I'm happiest when I'm stressed out and busy...and running all over town in a cute little business suit. For now, till I get better, I am trapped without a driver's license in this apartment, though it is adorable, in sweats and a pony tail, laptop on, sitting in front of the TV watching Rachel Ray, Studio 5, Scrubs, Days of Our Lives, Passions, Martha Stewart, and Friends. I hate TV now. Sometimes I turn it off and belt out music, but I got a noise complaint the other day. I need to listen to something lively while doing laundry right? Stupid neighbors. This senario will be perfect when I have little ones, but right now I want more than counting down the seconds till my hubby comes home. *sigh*

I need a fur baby I think. No, I know. I want a puppy so bad! You have no idea. It's getting much worse because I get lonely here by myself! All of our friends are getting pregnant now. I am the baby of my vast realm of married friends, the last one married. Sometimes I want a baby, then I regain consciousness. My health will definately not allow it now, if ever, and we are way to poor to adopt, and even feed a baby. I am also too selfish still. I want to travel, and build my career.

Both of my sister in laws have 1 year olds and my dear MIL always plans every get together around them. For example, easter was great fun: The babies had an easter egg hunt, then they recieved millions of presents while their parents filmed and took pictures and changed their clothes. Spence and I watched TV. Then whenever I try to talk with them, they either talk about Payton and Miley and baby things I know nothing of, or bash their husbands, which I do not and will not participate in. I end up either staring off into space whilst my husband and FIL and brother in laws talk sports, or play barbies with my evil step-sister-in-law. She's a demon child. This alienation of me and Spence has recently become worse after his mother accused us of spending more time with my family than them. (Which is not true because my mother is going through a mid-life crisis and I can only take so much of her.) It makes no sense to me because we keep a damned journal of how much time we spend with each family and make sure they're even. And it doesn't matter if we're even present around his family, we have no offspring so we may as well not exist. I've come up with a solution: Rent-a-baby. When we spend time with his family, we'll rent a child so we may be involved, and when we're with my family, my mom can fuss over the baby instead of telling me how I can eat, clean, launder, wife, and work better. Then we can just return the baby to the rent-a-baby center. Perfect! Ugh, family. Can't live with them or without them.

Spencer's mom and dad are divorced, so every Sunday one of his parents has dinner. Every other week with his mom and his dad. So, every Friday we pack up and head down to Ogden to spend the night at my parent's house. We get there about 10, we go to bed, we wake up and hang with them on Saturday, then Sunday we go to church with his family, whose ever Sunday it is, then eat dinner with them, and return home at about midnight. Weekends aren't so weekendy when you just wanna stay home!!! This weekend was the best. His mom called and said she wouldn't be having dinner because they were going out of town. We had a little newly wedd party friday night. Saturday Spence didn't have to work so we satyed in bed ALL day. Then Sunday we went to OUR ward, came home, took a nap, then we went to the park on our motorcycle and had a picnic and fed the duckies. I got attacked by seaguls. It was hillarious. Anyway, then we came home and I painted while he did homework, then we made dinner and watched two movies! It was the best sunday ever.

I'm so excited it's Spring. I think I'm starting to feel better. The flowers are out, the pool is open, baby animals are everywhere! I'm going to plant an herb garden on my porch I think. The only sad thing about Spring is that Ballet is over. :( But Summer is almost here and so is our trip to Disneyland with Spencer's family. Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. I can't beleive I get to go again! Only a year later! I also can't beleive I've been married a year almost. It's crazy. He's so wonderful that time is just flying by...It feels like I got married two months ago. I want to do it everyday. I know this post is very negative....but I really am ok. I'm happy and very blessed...just a little fed up as we all get. As for the in-law issues, I'm sure Jerilynn and Lisa can attest that they're normal. Don't be excited for them. ;) I love and miss you all! We should all go back to school.