Silly Story Time

Its now time for silly stories with your host, Hollie. This story was written during church (its one of many, trust me, trying to get my roommate to laugh out loud and if I had a scanner it would have the pictures to go with, but you will just have to suffer without).

Once upon a time there was a cheese grater named Gregory. He grated cheese, that was his raison d'etre. Unfortunately, Gregory was a bit of a snob. He only like to grate cheese of higher importance than the average, every day sorts of cheese. He put up his nose at cheddar, rolled his eyes at mozzarella, laughed disdainfully at Amerian and hid from Monteray Jack.

He would crawl his little metal body to the back of the utinsel drawer, cower in the corner and pretend to be a spoon when his ownders pulled out a hunk of less than worthy cheese.

"Give me Gouda! What about Parmesean or Feta? Perhaps a pepperjack! Something different, something refined." He shrugged glumly, "I'd even take Swiss or Roker if it came to it."

His friend Steve the Sieve wasn't sympathetic to his friend's plight. "At least you get used! The last time they thought about me they were canning applesauce! They haven't looked at me since. Plus, cheese is room temperature at most when they want to grate it. Unlike boling hot applesauce."

It was a common discussion, Gregory complaining followed by unsympathetic Steve's diatribes getting louder and then the belittling of Gregory's frustrations.

Gregory got tired of this so one day he shoved Steve down. Steve jumped up and pushed Gregory down. There was a bit of hand slapping until Gregory picked up a metal kebab skewer. Not to be out done, Steve picked up a skewer as well. "I challenge you to a duel." Gregory declared.

"Bring it on." Steve replied tauntingly.

"Engarde!" They crossed skwers and the game was on.

It was hard to keep track of who was winning because neither one could bleed and even if they could, the skewers kept passing through the holes in their metal bodies. After several hours, they both sat down, exhausted and sweaty.

"Truce." They declared at the same moment, out of breath and slightly frustrated.

"Let's not fight. This isn't accomplishing anything." Gregory shrugged.

Just then the utinsel drawer opened and Gregory was too tired to hide. He was forced to grate mild cheddar. Once cleaned and replaced in the drawer he turned to Steve and said, "I guess cheddar isn't as bad as I thought. It could be worse, I could be a pickle grater." He smiled, "By the way, I heard the coulander has decided to move out and they're having pasta for dinner tomorrow. You may be used yet."

Steve smiled. "Even if that isn't true, its a nice sentiment. Friends?"

"Friends." Gregory agreed. Gregory learned not tro be so snooty and Steve learned other uses and they lived as happily ever after as two utinsels are capable.

The end.